Moving on with my life!

[25yearsmlc]

S2,
Get your helmet on b/c you need a serious 2 x 4...


Child support is not up to you. It's for the child. What right do you have to decide whether she should get the support from her father to which SHE is entitled? The court & state trust that you will see that she is cared for and that means getting the C/S as efficiently as possible and I would NOT Even start a div sitch OR a sep without making sure the funds would be there and if they weren't, a garnishment would be the "Easiest" thing to do so HE doesn't have to remember to pay or get an envelope and stamp or drive over blah blah blah EASIEST FOR ALL CONCERNED...OH, but then you don't get to SEE HIM?

If anything, forcing this might make your X h respect you a tad more (or a lot more) since you would be putting your child's needs ahead of your own terror of "losing him" (as if you guys are working on things IN your m) and your need for contact with him RADIATES...

Get a garnishment if he is ever late. OH, what's that? HE HAS BEEN LATE SEVERAL TIMES AND YOU DID WHAT?? Nothing??? Dang, that tells me all I need to know...

I met a woman who proudly told me she "never took a cent from her X h for child support"...gee, how wonderful. Her children lived in squalor but hey, SHE never took a cent from their father?!! Isn't she great?? Why didn't she refuse ALIMONY but still accept CHILD support? Child support wasn't HERS to turn down.
Who was she to turn THEIR money down? Why'd she do that?

B/C HER pride was HER motivation, and her vindictiveness against the kids' dad b/c he didn't get to see them. THEY Suffered b/c of HER choice and HER pride. Not one of them went to college and only one finished high school. They were tired of wearing crappy shoes, living in public housing and being hungry. One enlisted and the others are still on welfare --but away from HER...30 years later they still suffer from their horrid upbringing and poverty. They could have had more but thanks to HER pride and belief that it was all up to HER, they didn't.

Learn something here. This isn't YOUR money YOU are debating. You are so afraid of upsetting your already DIVORCED h, that your fears are causing you to risk money that does not belong to you. It is your child's funds and life style you are risking and To what end?

And the irony of it all, is that although you have the tiniest chance of a reconciliation with your X h, it would first require him seriously changing his ways and his life, and imo, you do the exact opposite of what could spark that into happening. He has not lost you. SO why would he miss what he still has? He can and does do whatever he wants, except what he's forced to do and even that, he barely does-- and with an attitude. And you enable it every time...amazing. What do you think that does for your "cause" Your GAL or your recon or your detachment? (remember that word? WE use it for a reason) How does that move you towards a future with OR without him?
You have been in this situation a LONG time....way way too long...OMG...
What is up with that? MAKE HER the priority in your life, and not your boozing XXXXXXXXX h.

j-