I do not have children so take this with a grain of salt. reply
First part. Ignore. Second part. Take the kids. She needs to learn to schedule stuff on her time. Not yours. You need to make sure you document all this. Do not set a precident. Third part. Ignore.
Go very business like on this.
Facts and details. Nothing more.
On the second part. Take a strong stance on this. She needs to learn to ask , and offer something in return. Things people do if they want an amicable relationship.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!