Our info: together 5 years, 2 kids ages 4.5 and 1.5. Me: 35, him 32.
On November 20, I logged onto our family share plan to see that for the entire prior month, he had been texting practically non-stop his EX girlfriend of five years.
That month they were texting, he had been very standoffish, distant and combative. Picking fights with me over little things then turning it around as if I was being petty. Suddenly, it became very clear WHY.
I confronted him, he tried at first to deny knowing the number, then to they only talked a few times to "catch up", then it was a few days, then finally he admitted she had sent him a Happy Birthday text and it went from there.
Going through the texts, one thing that REALLY hurt was that he had ignored a text where I was flirty and told him I couldn't wait to see him and snuggle up. He totally ignored it and later lied and said he left his phone in his car. Well, he had been texting HER at the time and didn't have time apparently to text me back.
Immediately, I asked him to leave.
He left and then wrote me a 5 page letter saying that he was a jerk, selfish idiot and that at first it was just curiousity, then it became more emotional, and that he did consider cheating but it was just a thought, not an action. He said she started getting the wrong idea and that she asked him to lunch and he said no. On Tuesday, November 17, they had talked up a storm. Allegedly this is when she asked him and he said no. They also talked ALL DAY on Monday, November 16.
Suddenly, the texting abruptly stopped on November 17. Then I found out on November 20.
We've tried to go back to normal, but I cannot get over his lying. I feel like I don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth. I don't know how to move forward.
Two days straight this week, he ignored my text messages again. Normally I wouldn't think much of it, but this time I just flipped out. I hate who I have turned into. He told me he just didn't check his phone but I can't help but think how I fell for that line the first time. Now I am ignoring him because I feel like its pointless to go forward if I can't trust what he says. Why even talk?
