You once told me you solve your problems by completing the circle.
It seems like you've been in a loop since the 'fake' reconciliation, repeating the same patterns, frustrations, hopes. It's hard to watch, undoubtedly harder to live.
Your son saying that the divorce is all your fault.. hello.. why would he say that.. why would you accept that? It's like you're slow roasting yourself over the fire and turning the spit.
It was nice that your BFF had a heart to heart with your spouse and gave you the scoop. It sets a very bad precedent unless she's an unbiased therapist with the two of you in a room. What did you once say about a couple.. that they love each other like dog and cat? He may or may not have said to you what he said to her. But she heard it without the pain, she was able to listen.
Reconciling doesn't work if it's more of the same coated with kerosene. If you want answers go together as a couple, seek a therapist who will not be swayed by charm on either of your part. You don't want a counselor taking sides. To start to heal as individuals you need to be able to communicate without poison daggers.
Stop fighting and start growing.. both of you. Cuz that's what marriage is... a partnership.
