Christmas gifts for WAS

[mindfull]

Hahaahha Hey, they have an OBAMA one!

[hoosiermama]

yeah, I think I voted for him, too.

[kjensen]

How about a pink Snuggie?
I did buy H a few long sleeve tshirts and sweater before the second bomb..Also the lovely and expensive light therapy lamp which he already knows about and doesn't want. I'm wrapping it up anyway. Why should I stand in line at the post office to return it? He can do it, if he really wants to.

Ask the kids and get what they would want H to have. If I had a do-over with timing I wouldn't have bought H anything but what the kids wanted to get him...

A joke gift might be fun...

[sandycay]

Sandy... if they're feeling really generous, there's a pack w/multiple sizes AND colors! LOL ShamWow! LOL Hope you don't get a BumpIt!

Girl, he only wishes he could "bump it" Q ROFLMAO

[cat04]

TF,

I have continued to buy H gifts for Christmas.

Why? Because he will accept them and still remain where he is. Nothing to personal, nothing special, just stuff he wants. For my son. It is sort of like buying a gift for my sister. Just a gift and nothing more.

Also maybe a little bit because he is still here. If he wasn’t, then it would probably just be a gift from my son to him.

So do what feels right in your heart without too much analysis. That is always the best thing to do. How he reacts to it is his choice.

[Cadet]

Cat,

Does this(buying a present) conflict with detach/NC?

[trustingfaith]

Thanks for all of your advice. It really is a mixed bag. I feel bad not getting him anything or not much, but . . . he has spent a buttload of money on himself and seemingly everything he likes that has crossed his path the past year (clothes, DVDs, etc.) so he truly doesn't need anything and says he doesn't want anything but I would feel bad if there was nothing. The kids have made him gifts and will give him something else we will pick out probably together. Other than a couple of small things from me and coal in his stocking (just kidding), that may be about it.

[dmkdmkdmk]

I'm actually making my H something this year - I'm using some modge podge and putting a shooting range target on a canvas for him to hang on his wall (a la californication)... It's a 15-minute project, costs me $0. I think that's all he's getting... he got me nothing for our anniversary, Mother's Day, my birthday (did buy me dinner though).

I know he bought me a Christmas gift, but I don't know what it could be.

[trustingfaith]

I am just so . . . . argggh! I guess second guessing myself. The kids got H some stuff and made him some gifts. I ended up getting him a few small things, nothing personal, nothing big. I happen to know now that he got me something fairly substantial and is having the kids work on something for me (and took them out shopping a couple of days ago). He has always "out gifted" me, he is just "better" at it than I am. Gift giving is his love language. So I feel a bit bad, but then on the other hand he has caused my life to be h%ll the past year . . .

[ClingingToHope]

In my case, gifts never came up. My daughters apparently picked out three things and W paid for them. I was going to take the girls shopping for W, but they told me they already bought her gifts. I'm not sure how that was accomplished. Maybe the MIL paid for them.

So at that point anything extra could be seen as pursuing so I didn't buy her anything. I'm sure she's getting stuff from her mom and sister.

We hadn't really spent much on each other in recent years. I always wanted to, but she'd say she didn't want anything because we always seemed to be broke at the end.

One of the little things that went south as the marriage went on. I really enjoyed buying stuff for her in the early years.