WAW on suicide watch, what now???

[MHL]

cutterbug,
Trust me I hear what your saying and I would love to tell her exactly what her actions have caused and how selfish she is, in fact I did that on Nov. 15th and we did not speak again for 3 weeks, granted she was caught redhanded in the sack with OM when OM's W walked in on them on Nov. 19th. (see beginning of thread) I pretty much ended that 5 week fling, OM and his W are working on their M of 21 years, I talk to Om's W occassionally. I have tried the NC and it is hard to do with the kid exchange thing and telling her how bad she has messed up always ends in her hanging up or walking away.
I don't want to foster my D13's hate for my W b/c in think it will just backfire. Additionally there are some positve things going on, they are small but none the less positive. I wrote down one of my small goals was that she would talk to me again over the phone. Another was that she would talk to me in person which she has. Another would be that she would meet me somewhere to talk about whatever, supposed to happen on Saturday morning.
The thought of her with another man better yet multiple OM kills me but I feel like I need to kill her with kindness and outshine the OM whoever he may be. I feel I need to try to become the person she fell in love to begin with 18 years ago. I am not kissing her a$$ even though it feels like it sometimes. I am trying to demonstrate that I am as attractive, funny, caring, sensitive, attentive, sexy, confident, strong as any other man she could or would ever meet. I thought that you had to try to re-establish friendship first. I know it is referred to as cake eating but is it really? If I have really detatched then I am just another guy out there with potential to establish a R with my W. I don't know but I know that I can't go dark or do the NC thing effectively with kids, it is just to much exposure. I guess I am hoping that if she starts to become attracted to me again and starts wanting me bad enough then I can start to impose the transparency thing and talk about the pain she has caused.