A Choice

[Deep]

It's precisely because she is in the fog that you need to man up. Be crystal clear about the boundaries and consequences.

Heck, I made enough similar mistakes not doing that in my own sitch. Be compassionate, be open, be loving, be encouraging. There's many ways you can show that. But do NOT compromise on your self-respect and the boundaries necessary to you and the integrity of the M. Being fearful of her reactions and waffling on doing the necessary will only cause you more pain.