Former brother in law (he got left too) got married this weekend in a private ceremony in Vegas. I don't know if Elvis performed the honors. Anyway, I wrote him a short email saying I was happy for them and may they make many new memories together. Movin on is a good thing. He's been doing great and the new love is just aspect of his life.
Sister in law is up here to drink her self silly with the she and comiserate about divorce.
When I look at them side by side I can see a big difference in outlook and wellbeing. There's a lesson to be learned here.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Spent most of yesterday watching cartoons and playing mindless games with kids. The she was supposed to pick them up about 5p but I got a call that they were still stuck in retail-land and could I just drop them off at her house. hmm..well I was going to a party near her house anyway so I agreed. She arrived at the house about the same time I did.
There was a big scene at the house because they were locked out. The she doesn't have a key anymore the garage door has been jammed for almost a month. She threw a big fit but then started taking it out on D because she didn't have her key on her. I told them to take my house key, go back to my house and get D's key, but leave D alone. I was fuming.
Went to a party with some tri buddies for a little while, then off to meet some people from work at the film fest. Good fun.
Later as planned I was to meet the she and kids at a party and take the kids home. The she and her sis were to take off soon. I really wanted to avoid going inside and meeting everyone. Somehow though I ended up with my shoes and coat off and was inside chatting it up. My initial feeling was, I'm in some level of Dante's inferno. I'm standing among joint friends who are better friends with the she and dammit this is awkward. It kind of eased up and I ended up staying a while.
On the way home D talked about the key. She said it was unfair that mom yelled at her when she didn't have a house key herself. I agreed and said I'd talk to her about it.
The kids went with the she this morning and now I need to get outside and ride.
Last edited by orangedog; 12/13/0909:57 PM.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Today I learned I will be receiving $ before the year is out. Not sure how much yet or what the details are. Hopefully this will offset the loss from the furlough.
Right now I'm overwhelmed by holiday stuff. Kid's schedule is a bit rough. I need to buy things. Lots of stuff to do.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
ReligiousFriend invited me out for a drink after work. He is usually giving me a lift but this time he was weighted down. His biz has been mixed and today he told his biz partner to leave; the accts and lawyers will take care of the details. But that was only part of the story.
I thought his stress over the past few months was just related to the start-up but there was a lot of family stuff from his past that has come up. He's been sad, stressed, overwhelmed, snapping at his kids, and just feeling empty. He saw someone for the first time and described his visit in detail. There was a lot he was holding onto that he was finally able to touch and let go. It was a side of him I had not seen before.
There were a few things that really hit me during the conversation.
- He felt like his "cup was broken" and that his wife could not fill him no matter how much she tried. Unless he made himself whole again, she would wear herself down trying.
- He felt like his (family member) didn't value himself. He never discussed his feelings because he didn't feel worthy. RFriend was concerned he (and other men too) fell into this pattern and we continue to carry around emotions that eventually wear us down.
A few months ago, he was urging me to feel everything I had to feel. Dog worked on this. However RFriend was not yet able to do it himself.
- He has only begun to let go some of the issues that bothered him. The days seem very different to him now.
- We've both experienced profound feelings of gratitude. I mentioned this Thanksgiving was probably the first time I really "got" the holiday. Despite having less materially than I've ever had, I felt more thankful for everything in my life: loving kids, health, job, sense of self, but even small things like walking outside or seeing an animal. Without gratitude there is no happiness.
- Silence. To just sit and watch. To turn it all off for a while.
It was such a great time.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Lunch with friends. We stopped by a coffee place afterwards to pick up cups to go. There was a large Buddha statue. Ahhhh.....
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
New for those of you know the early chapters of this saga...
The she forwarded me something that had been sent to her through the grapevine. Photos of BFF and fling with child. The caption on one of them read, "Our little family". Bleeeaahhhhh!
It's just amazing considering BFF didn't know he was married with a newborn child when she started her affair with him (neither did anyone else in town). I wonder if she told him she was married too? As they say, honesty is the foundation of a good relationship.
Anyway, the whole "debacle" as the she described it today between BFF and everyone here (but especially the she), is over. We move on.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
