if you are talking to lawyers about the keys, mention it to him that she took all the possessions, I'm sure you own them jointly so what gave her the right to decide she can have them all?
Yes you have to mention it and it has to be noted so that you don't lose out on anything. If you just sit there and take it without making a peep, it will be seen as you accepting what she did and you were ok with it.
Are you afraid to make noise? Are you afraid to rock the boat?
If so, I'll ask you WHY?
As for the house and refurbishing it, etc. Do what you WANT to do and start getting used to the feeling of leading your life in the direction you want to go instead of asking for permission - it's your home, just do it.
Itemize everything she took. She can't leave you with nothing. Right now you've allowed her to take your kids, your furniture and your manhood all at the same time.
In terms of Christmas, she isn't "allowing" you to see the kids. She's giving you your God-given right to your own kids. As a matter of fact, I would come up with a half and half schedule, write it down and present it to her for custody.
Show her you aren't going to be pushed around any more.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
yup, joint custody is the only way to go, don't make excuses about work & such, being a weekend dad is the same as being an uncle who lives out of town, you need to be in your kids lives because it's important to you and important to them.
Not meaning to hijack this thread, but rob how can that even be manageable? I am in a sitch where she lives an hour+ away from me, which is approx 1.5 hours in the opposite direction from where I work. It would be so logistically difficult to get 50/50 custody.
The job I have could be (hoping) the last one I need in my life and is with a good company, so moving closer to where she lives is not really in the realm of possibilities.
Once he is of school age, it gets even worse for a 50/50 split.
Last edited by pitinmygut; 12/16/0910:39 PM.
Me 44/W 32 S1 M8 Bomb 9/25/09 Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
Not meaning to hijack this thread, but rob how can that even be manageable? I am in a sitch where she lives an hour+ away from me, which is approx 1.5 hours in the opposite direction from where I work. It would be so logistically difficult to get 50/50 custody.
The job I have could be (hoping) the last one I need in my life and is with a good company, so moving closer to where she lives is not really in the realm of possibilities.
Once he is of school age, it gets even worse for a 50/50 split.
Well right off the hop, you sound like someone who is used to making excuses.
So you're telling me that your wife is able to manage having the kids but you can't, I guess maybe because you're a man and she is a woman?
Have you ever heard of a woman who raises her kids, husband left her, without any support, and yet she manages to work, provide for them and herself, and perservere but apparently you are limited by geographical distance?
Listen when you have the kids, why does it matter how far away she lives? It's not like you have to bring them back to her house everyday? If you're sharing custody you would have them 50% of the time, probably a week and a weekend each - what is wrong with that? what makes that so impossible?
Stop making f!@#$%* excuses!
"Once he is of school age, it gets even worse for a 50/50 split"....
WHY does it get worse?
What am I missing here?
If the kids are in school for the day isn't that better? 6-7 hours where they are at school being supervised by teaching staff? Why would that be worse?
Excuses don't explain and explanations don't excuse.
Telling me anything different means you are trying to tell me that your wife can do something that you can't do and I refuse to believe that you're not capable of doing it.
Not having the intention, motivation, will or strength of character... maybe I might believe that.
You're a parent for crying out loud, why is this even up for debate - you just do what you need to do to make it work instead of making your kid seem like an inconvenience, you should look at them like they are a privilege and treat them accordingly!
That's all I'm willing to discuss on this, this is YOUR 2x4, it was made of spruce, enjoy it!
There are a couple things that come into play here. She has full support of her family where she is living, so if she needs to have someone watch my son, they are pretty much at her beck and call. I am in a place where I have no family and only a couple close friends. I realize that I could use a daycare etc., which I would consider, until he is in school...see below.
The school thing - when he is in school there is no way that I would be able to have him for a week and her to have him for a week due to the distance. There is no way that it would work.
Believe me, I do not look at my son as an incovenience.....I KNOW he is a privelege and I look forward to every minute I have him.
Me 44/W 32 S1 M8 Bomb 9/25/09 Separate houses (about 1 hour apart)
There are a couple things that come into play here. She has full support of her family where she is living, so if she needs to have someone watch my son, they are pretty much at her beck and call. I am in a place where I have no family and only a couple close friends. I realize that I could use a daycare etc., which I would consider, until he is in school...see below.
The school thing - when he is in school there is no way that I would be able to have him for a week and her to have him for a week due to the distance. There is no way that it would work.
Believe me, I do not look at my son as an incovenience.....I KNOW he is a privelege and I look forward to every minute I have him.
You don't need to convince me, you need to convince yourself. Is your current job so important that you couldn't find a replacement job closer to the school he would go to? Is your job recession proof that you won't lose it tomorrow or next year? Are you afraid that you couldn't get another job doing what you and get paid a similar wage? Have you even tried to find out for sure?
Your reply started off with "There are a couple things that come into play here...."
When someone begins a reply with excuses as to why they can't do something, it just seems to be a pattern of behavior that has probably been a part of your life for quite some time.
I live close to my kids school which means I chose that location so no excuse there. I don't live close to work but I can work from home when I want to, if this wasn't an option, I'm sure daycare would be. Every excuse you come up with, try to come up with a way around it - you're not as limited as you choose to believe and most of the limits we have are usually self-imposed, food for thought.
