Kevin, as a classic "Mr. Nice Guy," you still operate from a basic paradigm "If I am nice enough to people, I can get them to do what I want," regardless of whether or not that is healthy for YOU, or attractive to THEM.
And despite thousands and thousands and thousands of posts, back and forth to you on this forum, I don't see that having changed one iota.
Hint: it needs to. For your own health and happiness.
Puppy
Isn't it kind of the old thing about treat people how you want to be treated? I guess that is what I was trying to do with MIL and W. I think it has changed things a bit, somewhat with MIL. And it has even changed things with W and me as far as us being able to coparent now and be together for certain situations. Funny thing is, as long as nobody else is around, W doesn't seem to mind sitting with me and last night asked me to save her a seat. But that does seem to change if people are around.
The smart thing is to probably go ahead and separate the remaining accounts. But can anyone who knows my sitch honestly say that if I went further and filed that it would make one iota of difference with regard to my W?
I know the general consensus is do it for me and my health or at least finish separating things and move forward with my life and let her decide the finale. I have thought at times about going ahead and filing and either being done or seeing if it changes anything. The only thing I think it would change is her feeling free and relieved to pursue OM and another M. I don't think it would be any kind of wake up call to her at all with regard to us. I don't even know that it would lead to any kind of new respect being as how she expects me to stand since that is what I told her I would do. Plus it says I was willing to go ahead and do what I said I would not do.
Yes, I am struggling today with considering moving forward a bit more in this process. I just keep thinking what if she is getting more and more back on the fence and then I do this and it pushes her right back off the fence and forward.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
