[quote=ssmguy] I have been reading a new book that at first I didn't like, but that has a much different approach to adult marital relationships. It is growing on me as I think more about it. It is the Passionate Marriage by David Schnarch. What I like and don't like (at the same time) is the concept that couples will always have a different desire levels and that getting the LD partner to increase their desire is not the right approach.
In my case, that would translate to, "getting the ND partner to increase their desire is not the right approach". Well, then, I'm not sure I'm interested in what his approach is! Is it that I'm supposed to decrease my desire level? Or are we supposed to have fun together doing things besides sex? Which is what we've been doing for the last 10 years and it hasn't changed the sexual stalement one iota.
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It points out that some couples have LD and HD in regard to sex, other couples have LD and HD in regards to spending money, and still other couples have LD and HD in regards to having a baby. It goes on to embrace the struggle between two people as a wonderful growth and learning experience that teaches each of us how to be a better person and who we are.
Well fine, I have been embracing the struggle for 10+ years, and it has been a wonderful growth and learning experience, but it has resulted in NO SEX.
The difference with being LD and HD in other areas, like playing tennis, is that I can get another tennis partner without the moral majority in the USA branding me with a scarlet "A". They won't claim that having another tennis partner will hurt my kids and compromise my integrity. So, no, I don't see that LD/HD in other areas as quite the same thing, at least as far as what others will think of me.
