Dont ignore the warning signs (warning, Im venting

[g450]

Be forwarned that I am venting something that is bothering me.

I am the worlds stupidest man when it comes to relationship warning signs. It's a sad story that needs to be told. Don't be an idiot like me and ignore warning signs. Love and enfactuation can be blinding.

After being told by my wife of 23 years together she drops the "I don't love you anymore and want a divorce" bomb on me. Tells me she hasn't love me at least in the last 10 years. After this I took a long hard look at our history together and realized I was an idiot of epic proportions.

Warning sign #1 Ignored:
(23 years ago)

The first time I slept with my (then) girlfriend and made a sexual advance on her she gave me the "I love you but not in love with you". BS! Next morning I was packing my stuff back into my car and she came home to stop me by telling me she did in fact love me etc. I fell for it like a sucker. I was in love with her and she knew it.

I should have walked right then.

Warning sign #2 Ignored:
(23 years ago)

When I first started going out with her she had just dumped her (MARRIED) boyfriend because he would not leave his separated wife to be with her. He was basically using her as a ***-bucket at his convenience so when she met me she told him it was over. Yet when we both moved into our own apartment tegether she still wanted to give him our new address and phone number because she wanted to still "be friends with him"! I guess I was her 2nd choice backup stooge while she held him in reserve.

Total BS! I should have walked right then.

Warning sign #3 Ignored:
(23 years ago)

After having sex with her a few times she decides to tell me she is pregnant and wanted to know how I felt about it. I asked her if it was mine or her last boyfriends (short time period between relationships). She blew her top and was really pissed at me. Then she told me that she wasn't pregnant at all. She was just guaging my reaction to the possibility.

Again, I should ahve walked right then.

Warning sign #4 Ignored:
(fast forward to just about 5 years ago)

After being happily married for about 18 years, she went to Corpus Christi to her high school reunion. My Son told me that she did not get home until 3am in the morning. I confronted her about it and she blew me off as an insecure husband. And that she was just playing catch up with her old friends. Not so much as a phone call from her.

Warning sign #5 Ignored:
(2 years ago)

Son graduates and moves out and she moves in to his old bedroom by
herself. She blamed my snoring. She assured me that our sex life would not be affected. She lied. Intimacy dropped off to about half what it used to be and we talked less because of her voluntary separation from our marriage bed.

Warning sign #6 Ignored:
(6 months ago)

When eating out for dinner she asks me to divorce her
so she could get VA check from first (deceased) husband but that we could still live together. She did this with a smirk on her face. I told her NO! It would mess up our combined retirement plans. Not to mention the fact that doing this would be illegal.

Why was I so ignorant?

Warning signs #7 and #8 Ignored:
(past few years to present)

In the past few years she has never initiated sex. Its always
me and she demasculates me and makes me feel like I have to
beg her for sex.

She also stopped saying "I love you" and being affectionate towards
me. I am the only one that does it and she will only say ILY
if I say it first.

Why was I so blind to this?

Warning sign #9 Ignored:
(Just before the bomb)

After our recent (wonderful) vacation she asks me to password protect her email and the new laptop I just bought for her. Even though there were no financial or critical data on her laptop. She only used it for facebook and email and the laptop stayed home. Like an idiot I showed her anyway. She hid the passwords from me. Truth is she was hiding something from ME! I just didn't know it at the time and still do not know what it is.

Why am I so gullible?

Warning sign #10 Ignored:
(Just before the bomb)

Noticed that she looked up a bunch of friends and old boyfriends from high school etc and had them join her in facebook. I trully am the worlds biggest idiot but I am now getting smarter.

19Nov09:

She drops the BOMB! Tells me she no longer loves me and does
not want to be in this relationship anymore. She wants a
divorce and refuses to talk about it or argue about it.
Also refuses to work with me or go to MC.

Other things she has done is take OFF her wedding ring and
tells me she is changing her name back to her fist
husbands when we divorce. Why is she doing this?

She claims that she is not cheating on me. Really?
She is stone cold towards me at his point.

IMO She is a WAW and may be in MLC. But my main point is to vent and warn you to not make the mistakes I made in not facing my warning signs.

If only I could go back in time. TY for letting me vent.