I had a dream the other day that WH was naked in front of me as he was changing his clothes. He was acting part "no big deal" and part "do you like what you see?"
I think it was triggered by the fact that he is lifting his shirt up to scratch his stomach and shows me his stomach when doing so.
BTW bestrong, will this scay situation (MIL) allow you and WH to get close?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
BTW bestrong, will this scay situation (MIL) allow you and WH to get close?
newmama, I felt horrible wishing the same yesterday I am so sad because of it and still I wish that maybe it will let WH see some reality - it sounds horrible even typing it.He asked me yesterday not to tell anyone I know and today I met the wife of his best friend and she says: I heard his mum isn't well!?!" I asked her when his friend talked to him and she said a few days ago. And bang I am in tears again - I feel like I am the last person in the end of a long line. We spoke the first time about the high phone bills yesterday – that was before the news about MIL and he was telling me that he can’t understand they are so high and maybe his phone went on internet in his pocket and stayed connected and that he is calling around for jobs too. And then 2 things in my head happened – first of all I was listening to him, knowing that he is lying and it made me realize that the way he was telling it was the same as always – 8 months ago I would have believed it, no doubt – there was no telling that this was a lie – just this time I knew. And second I had a dejavu – I had listened to the same story before – years ago – I am trying to remember when exactly it happened – a very high phone bill and he told me the phone must have stayed connected in his pocket.
a very high phone bill and he told me the phone must have stayed connected in his pocket.
Does work that way .. at least over here. You are charged for the amount of data you download to your phone. So it could be 'on the internet' for a week. If it's not downloaded anything (ie. no pages are being viewed which is going to be the case in your pocket) then you are charged nothing.
That's why the plans, over here, come with a 5Mb, 1Gb etc. bundle. That's the amount of data you can download within them.
Anyway, you know it's a lie
Last edited by P17; 12/16/0906:31 PM.
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
About not contacting you first about MIL...could he have avoided you because he knew how hard you would take it?
I realize it sounds terrible to say maybe you two would grow closer during this sad time. But it could happen.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I think he got the news about the cancer only yesterday evening(judging from his reaction) but knew longer that she was feeling ill - I hadn't a clue.
I feeel constantly lied to or feel that I just get half of the story. It's the worst feeling in the world for me. It makes me doubt our entire relationship. 9 years of my life.
You know that in my head I think sometimes that he is a serial cheater I guess because of all the unknown and all the open questions I have. That what happens when you don't have the truth - you start to expect the worst.
Out of curiosity, how do you feel about the advice you receive from the marriagebuilders forum? rude, helpful, or maybe even same as here?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I think on MB the focus is mostly on how I deal with his "abuse" - I am not sure why my husband is seen different then anyone else.I am coming here for a different perspective - here the focus is different.
Wayward Husband. Can deal with this himself. Do not initiate conversation. If he needs you he will come to you. And you need to keep it seperate from your current issues. Do not use this as an excuse to talk R. Validate feelings about MIL. If he brings up R talk do not engage. Change the topic. Do not pursue.
Can you do that the next little while?
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
cutterbug, we haven't talked about "us" in months.
I have to admit though that I called him today to see how he is -worst conversation ever and shortest - he is so down. He wasn't even really there on the phone.
