I've been physically separated for about 3 months now, however before that my WAW and I lived together but separate in the same house for 12 months - a special kind of limboland. I don't recommend it at all. It took me a long time to accept the handwriting on the wall, but I have finally begun the detachment process and see a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. It's not the tunnel I was hoping to emerge from, but it's beginning to look a lot better as time goes on.
Seven months for me. With two kids, I have to interact with W a lot, although I've worked hard at figuring out ways not to have to see her.
I worked so much this summer that I actually was behind on my GALing. These last six weeks I've gone out so much that I was wearing myself out.
Now I'm back to working two jobs to pay down debt.
Two years ... I don't want to think about that. I thought by six months something would be shaking. But I realized today she's no closer to having the money to file than the day she asked me to leave, but she still isn't turning back to me.
Dottie, my DB counselor, warned me after hearing my story that it's going to take 18 months to two years for the fog to lift -- if it does.
I don't know if I can wait that long. Patience has never been one of my virtues. I'll have my L retainer saved up by February and then I'll have some decisions to make.
Have you had any opportunities to start seeing someone else?
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
Just over two years here. I agree with Purple, there are times I want to just stop and wait, and other times when I have really had enough. I have decided that I will just focus on my inner strength. The divorce is filed, its not going anywhere...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I just reached 17 months of separation. Until three months ago, he had an OW he was in love with. He recently had an epiphany and for the first time is focusing on why he was having affairs and fixing what is wrong within himself. He has said he doesn't love me and he doesn't know what he wants. I guess I'm waiting for him to figure it out and in the meantime, I am working on myself and becoming the person I want to be and the best choice for him.
Me - Faithful wife H - WAH Bomb: Fall/2009 - PA/EA with OW for 1 year Both in our early 40's M - 16 years w/ no kids T - 21 years Separated since July of 2008 - H living with his mother
Hard to say. Physically separated for 1 month, emotionally separated 2.5+ months.
I'm in a weird place where he talks a good game about working towards reconciliation, but doesn't really follow through or commit to wanting to be married.
Me: 30 Him: 31 M: 4 yrs; T: 10 yrs No children Bomb: 10/4/09 S: 11/16/09 D proceedings begin: January 2010
Nov 17, 2 years, although the last year we were trying to reconcile while he was still seeing OW on and off (I didnt know about it)...
Dont compare situations. All you should keep in mind is that time, is a relative thing around here... When I first joined DB and read stories when people were waiting for their spouses after a period longer than 6-8 months I was thinking how could they possibly do it. Now, look at me, I am a DB dino! K
That's true...I figured after six months it would be like "get the picture..."
But you cannot put a time frame. For some it takes a long time. For some it doesn't.
But you know what? Rome was not built in a day. Sometimes longer is not a bad thing.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
