At first, I did everything wrong: pursued, argued, stuck my head in the sand, believed her when she told me there was nothing going on, etc.

After a while, I decided I had to know, so I played PI - Keylogger, phone records, etc. Found out more details than I wanted to know, but it enabled me to expose the A.

IMO, I also bungled the exposure and my reactions to it somewhat. I was too emotional, reacted too quickly and too willing to be "patient and reasonable". If I had it to do all over again, I would have waited until I had more information, exposed the A in a calmer, more forceful way (shock and awe) and immediately began to practice "tough love".

Nonetheless, it was only by exposing the A that it came to an end.

It was only by ending the A that the walking away stopped.

A year later, my M is still in limbo, but I myself and doing MUCH better.

Last edited by Thinker; 12/16/09 08:17 PM.

Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2
M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08
Walking away from a bad situation.

My Sitch

Strength and Compassion
No Resentment