Yes after this flurry I will back off on OM. I realize he is a symptom and have understood it from Day 1, but at the same time I know that without cutting this disease out of our life it is hard to make any progress with her. I have made a lot of changes in the past year to deal with my half of the root cause of our problems but it hadn't made any difference with OM around.
My intent with all this was to cause him some pain and not get W involved, but the first time I saw her after contacting quasi-GF she didn't have her wedding ring on and I got a little sucked in. I wanted to let her know that I found out about the boundary violation regarding her talking to him from her work.
Anyway, I have told her to contact the mediator and schedule an appointment since her schedule is harder to deal with than mine and she said she wanted to move forward with that. She sounds like she will but if not I will.
Later she sent another text:
W: Remember the kids are now my #1 concern so it is best if we both alternately move out
TDR: You are having the affair, sleeping in the other room, and not wearing your rign so you go. Otherwise these details will get figured out in divorce settlement.
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline
