It IS appropriate to set a boundary when someone is emotionally & verbally abusive. It is NOT appropriate to be emotionally & verbally abusive because you "feel" that you can't please your spouse.
Question: how does one set up boundaries w/ regards to emotional and verbal abuse. For instance, let's say you've told them the behavior isn't acceptable yet it continues...?
Luv, DEFINITELY get some counseling for yourself. It will help you immensely. Call around today!
My H is fully aware of my needs. I have told him (not in a nagging way) but in regular talks about us (when we aren't fighting)
I let him know that when he ignores me when I'm upset it really hurts my feelings but he still does it...and to top it off....doesn't forget to tell me "I don't care." THAT is abuse.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
Hey Bridge! Welcome to the fray! Your Q's in blue.
Bridgestone: Is he entitled to be emotionally abusive because he doesn't know how to please her?
NO!
The general consensus amongst women is that men are dumb. With that in mind have you ever considered that this guy is completely clueless about how to correct his behavior? The biggest mistake in my opinion is that Relationships 101 is not a course offered in universities... and IMHO should be part of the school curriculum.
Bridgestone: Is it possible she's pushing him away because he's emotionally & verbally abusive?
Yes she is. It is also possible that Luv is misreading him. Her H reminds me of myself some time ago. The ONLY difference is I made the effort to try understand my wife.
Bridgestone: Which is an appropriate action to the circumstances?
To detach and not let his every action trigger her. Likewise Luv needs to become conscious of her own triggers and SEE how they are affecting him.
Bridgestone: It IS appropriate to set a boundary when someone is emotionally & verbally abusive.
AGREED 2000%
I have NEVER told Luv to drop her boundaries. She definitely needs to call him out on his crap behavior and enforce her boundaries.
Is he entitled to be emotionally abusive beacuse he doesn't know how to please her?
Is it possible she's pushing him away because he's emotionally & verbally abusive?
Which is an appropriate action to the circumstances?
It IS appropriate to set a boundary when someone is emotionally & verbally abusive. It is NOT appropriate to be emotionally & verbally abusive because you "feel" that you can't please your spouse.
Thank you for that Bridge - It's my H way of getting me back - hurting me and yes, I believe when he acts like this (mean and distant) it's on purpose.
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
