I guess there are some updates - but again, H is following the script and doing the advance/retreat thing. My patience is most definitely being tested at this point, but experience I've gained over last few years has helped keep my expectations and excitedness down. My brain's been retrained to think of H's behavior more as weird rather than promising - although I absolutely recognize it all as positive for HIM.
Some firsts since bomb that have occured over the past few weeks: - joined us for dinner out with group of old friends (his best friends) and all our kids, all families - accepted invitation to wedding where we would be seated together as family - sometimes daily phone calls for no specific reason (followed by none for several days) - asking my opinion on important matters - expressed regret and disappointment when he had to cancel on wedding - lent me his fairly new car while away on business - accepted my offer to drive him to airport - hugged me when I dropped him off at airport - reconnecting with friends he fell out with during MLC - planning Christmas dinner with us and close friends and their families
Ok, so when I write it all down, I can actually see the major strides he's taking. I still think it's premature to say H is out of the tunnel, but knowing my H, once he starts finding his way out, I think he'll start running out. As much as I would like that considering time and patience, I hope H takes his time to fully reflect on what's happened.
H is making his actions about the kids, which I'm very happy about, especially for them. No mention of me or an us, or our R yet - think I'll get excited if/when there ever is. For now, my feeling is more of relief that the worst is behind him/us.
As much as I'm ok without him, I find myself really missing him lately.
