It takes 2 people to wreck a marriage, but it also takes 2 to put one back together. And if one person chooses to blame the other for all the problems and fails to look at their own contribution, it just won't work.
I asked for several years to go to marriage counseling because I could see that things were going bad, but he always said I needed counseling because it was all my problems, he wouldn't go. Maybe if I had gone to counseling on my own things might have changed, but no use wondering now. And I doubt he will ever recognize his role in the failure. The only "apology" I ever got from him regarding the demise of our marriage was him writing that he was sorry that he wasn't strong enough to carry us through all of my problems. Sad but true, that is the only "fault" he has ever claimed
Sadly, that's not uncommon. I've heard it so much from so many people. Often phrased as "the only thing I did wrong is marrying you to begin with." I think a lot of it is defensiveness and justification, but those mechanisms only work so long because they're thinking errors.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
