feel like giving up - talk to me!

[mindfull]

OK, LUV...

We should really be having this conversation over a glass of wine or martini, BUT, this will have to suffice...

In order for you to become "unscared," do you feel like you need evidence of H's possible indiscretions? Thus, giving you an "answer" to his actions/moods/issues...

Because, really, if he's not, WTF is his problem? And, if he's not willing to help solve, it, then what?

Now he's starting to piss me off, too.





Here's what I don't get, and I apply this thinking to my OWN sitch (even though I'm nowhere near this level of frustration)... IF they are so f'n miserable that they have HAD or are HAVING a PA/EA, whatever kind of A you can name..., then WHY HIDE IT!?!?!?! Why be afraid to be found out? Why lie? Why cover it up? If you're miserable, and you've found someone else, isn't that reason enough to be done w/the marriage and move the F on!?!?!!

OK, done ranting.

Luv ya, Luv.

[luvless]

I'm not ready to rush into the get out stage but I wish I had the guts.

I want my marriage to work - it's a good one because we are so dang compatible. I believe if H can get himself out of his MLC things will be ok. Deep down I don't think I can live through another affair (he had one short fling b4 we married) and it devastated me. We have been working on trust (well I have tried to trust) for a long time and just when I thought I could fully trust him...this is what happens. I can't tell you how that makes me feel.

I will try to avoid him tonight - I gotta little captain in me (you know that commercial?) LOL and I don't even feel like drinking but I thought I'd have a small glass to calm down before the evil alien comes home.

Luv is confused

[luvless]

OK, LUV...

We should really be having this conversation over a glass of wine or martini, BUT, this will have to suffice...

In order for you to become "unscared," do you feel like you need evidence of H's possible indiscretions? Thus, giving you an "answer" to his actions/moods/issues...

Because, really, if he's not, WTF is his problem? And, if he's not willing to help solve, it, then what?

Now he's starting to piss me off, too.





Here's what I don't get, and I apply this thinking to my OWN sitch (even though I'm nowhere near this level of frustration)... IF they are so f'n miserable that they have HAD or are HAVING a PA/EA, whatever kind of A you can name..., then WHY HIDE IT!?!?!?! Why be afraid to be found out? Why lie? Why cover it up? If you're miserable, and you've found someone else, isn't that reason enough to be done w/the marriage and move the F on!?!?!!

OK, done ranting.

Luv ya, Luv.

I couldn't have said this better Mind! Thanks so much for being here for me.

[Deep]

Oooooh but mindfull, where is the fun in that? The angst, the moping, the secrecy, the bittersweet make-belive, the romance, the thrill? Trust the LBS to come up with that kinda logic to take the fun out of anything! Sheesh!

Ok, flippant moment aside, Luv, how do you feel about needing to uncover indiscretion(s) to make better sense of what is happening? And if there aren't any right now, it looks like H is gearing himself up to look for one, no?

Also have to say, it struck me how much I freaking hated that word as I typed. "Indiscretion". Bleah. My W used it all the time. Felt like running someone over hot coals and then saying "Oh yes, I may have warmed him up somewhat".

[luvless]

Right? Deep - I really need to know and on the other hand don't want to know. I'm sure it's the same for everyone.

He avidly denies - says he has a clean conscience. I don't know what to believe but his behavior is what I look at - distant and cold. Whatever.

thanks for the comment D - I like your sarcasm.

[luvless]

Last night wasn't so bad. I kept it together. H came in and wasn't very nice but he did seem interested in what I was doing. (ding ding...goes off in my head) is he wondering what I'm doing...what I might know?

He looks at what I'm doing on my laptop and asks, "what are you looking at?" I said, "nothing," I smiled and read my DB. He sat down on couch like whatever. He did mention he didn't care.

I went to bed and he came in shortly after. No goodnight - as usual. I so wanted to have mad sex with him after a while lying there...what was I thinking? I forgot I don't like this man right now! This morning he was really quiet but then said, "you're acting weird." I still say he is wondering don't you?

He responded to my text this text this morning "you know what's funny...I'm not doing anything. So my conscience is clean." Remember...I called him on "messing around" and that I would do whatever it took to protect myself and find out.

Yesterday was a sad day...today I'm feeling a little angry.

[Gnosis]

Hey Luv,

He looks at what I'm doing on my laptop and asks, "what are you looking at?" I said, "nothing,"

You're falling back on bad habits. You could have replied with a happy smile, "I'm looking for new hobbies! Are you interested in knitting?"

I went to bed and he came in shortly after. No goodnight - as usual. I so wanted to have mad sex with him after a while lying there...what was I thinking? I forgot I don't like this man right now!

Snort... ROFLMAO... Sorry, Luv. I can't help but wonder now if Mrs Gno ever has those same thoughts running around in her head.

This is a PRIME example of how you never know what goes on in a woman's head. Vice versa also applies. Which is why mindreading doesn't work.

Keep acting weird. It's got him thinking about you.

[soleil]

Luv,

Sorry this back and forth is happening with your H. Until you know for sure if he is having an EA or PA, you're going to rack your brains out, sadly.

Could be that he's just being a d-ck, though.

My H would always get upset if I went out and would use it against me, too. But God forbid if I asked him where he was going and with whom. He would always say "I don't know." Double standards!

What have you got planned for today?

[luvless]

LOL yeah G - sex was never our "issue" so not having that really sucks. I was thinking like such a man last night - I just wanted mine

Ok so I tripped up a little. I'm paying attention.

I think I'm going to go out tonight or come in after him nicely dressed. I'm getting mad and feel like getting even. (evil thoughts racing thru my mind)

Luv's gone crazy

[luvless]

Sol - yesterday was such a down day damn..I felt like crap. I'm trying to come to terms that I may be losing my H and it makes me DETACH. I don't want to love someone who purposely hurts me and doesn't care about my feelings. That's why I am so sad lately.

Oh I know...he'll ask me "who are you texting or who is texting you now" but if I ask him it annoys him. NOT right! He goes out on business and stays out till midnight with his coworkers (that's not work) but he says he never goes out - for 19 yrs I have been home with the kids while he is on business - OUT. I call it out not work! So....he gives me sh*t about going out with my girlfriends and staying out late - I say you do it too - but it's all in the name of business right?

Luv ROLLS her eyes!