Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[mulesqb]

She is dark towards me-is this normal too? I really thought she would contact me-trying to explain herself-or go into denial mode.

Besides working on me, and the boys, what other db'ng tactics can I be working on? I want to follow the plan, and get myself straight.

SD - Just caught up on stuff here. You really have to stop having expectations of her. You are living and dying with every action of hers. I know it's hard, but you really need to let go of the rope. Start living for you and the boys. Stop thinking of DBing in an effort to get her back. You're at the point where DBing 101 doesn't really apply anymore. Yes, of course she is going to be mad at you. She is fully detached from you and right now you are the biggest obstacle standing between her and freedom. But that is her problem. Not yours. If she is going to come back or want to come back it's going to happen because she sees what kind of man you are and have always been and what you stand for and realizes that is what she loves. She has to come to that realization herself. You can't force the issue.

Your issue is shielding your boys from the craziness. Those poor kids have been witnessing her behavior. They need a strong parent in their life right now who knows right from wrong to set an example for them. That's you. The good thing is that by living that way, you will be DBing. You need to exhibit Strength and Honor now more than ever. Especially while you are home.

You are still going to grieve your R with your W. That is perfectly normal at this stage. So keep posting here about your emotions. We can all help with that. We've been there. Believe me, I get the whole thing about picturing your W with other men. It's brutal. At the right time you will have to decide what is and isn't a deal breaker for you. And don't ever feel guilty about your feelings. If you want to try and reconcile with your W, that is truly awesome given the circumstances and what you have experienced. No way it's a bad thing. It says a lot about you and the depth of your love for her. But if you want to keep the door open for reconciliation (I really think that's how you have think of it, as the door being ajar)you need to detach and move on so she can see that from you and really feel that she has lost you. In my opinion the worst case scenario for the LBS is where the WAS feels the LBS is still there pining for them.

Please don't get drawn in by any of her actions or get baited by the OM. To me that is how the sitch can boil to the point of no return.

So do your thing. Be Dad. Keep busy. GAL. Believe in yourself. Look good. Look happy. Be happy. As bad as this is, there are still worse sitches in life. You have two great boys and are in good health. You must keep up with it. Worst case scenario is that your M doesn't work out. You know that and you can handle it, if it comes to that. Be strong and be honorable. Detach. Detach with class and integrity. You never know what can happen.

Strength and Honor.

Mules