My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

But it would be such a shame to waste all this pain and not come out wiser and better for it. Yes, I also wish we could have worked it out for the sake of my D13, but at this point I'm not sure I could ever have salvaged a real relationship from the levels of narcissism on his part and self-doubt on mine. We got involved too soon after my first divorce, when I was far too vulnerable to be in a position to expect much of anything. I did a lot of work, but I'm not sure I gave it time to mature in me.

I doubt mine could have been salvaged either, but primarily because I don't think he will ever acknowledge his own issues. He chose to blame me for all the problems and find someone else who would validate him.

I worry about getting into another relationship and falling into the same pattern. I guess that is why I run whenever anyone comes too close.

Well, that's true. It takes 2 people to wreck a marriage, but it also takes 2 to put one back together. And if one person chooses to blame the other for all the problems and fails to look at their own contribution, it just won't work. I think that's why it has been so important to me to figure all this out so I could move forward and break out of these d*mn patterns. Ironically, xH continues to claim that 100%of the problems in the marriage were my fault. For now, it seems to be working for him, but I gotta believe it will collapse in the long run.