Again, something else that you resent about your W yet you do nothing to change it on your end. You are her safety net when she needs help covering her bills, when she needs to switch days for your children or when she needs some other errand/favor done. There is a difference between being a safety net and being used.
It does feel like I am being used sometimes. But I also feel like it is my responsibility to be there for her if she needs help with something. I also feel like by turning my back on her that she will just further look the other way for help from someone else such as OM.
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I am not sure why but I am amazed that you feel splitting the finances would be the last straw. Do you really think that having joint or individual finances would be the vehicle that turns things around? I don't think so.
My H e-mailed me out of the blue on Monday to tell me (three weeks later) that I hurt his feelings on T-day because I never responded to his text wishing me a good holiday. And he said "I must admit I miss talking to you on the phone and over e-mail but I guess I better get used to you treating me this way". LOL!
NOTHING has changed with him. As per usual he holds in what is bothering him until he can't take it anymore instead of addressing what is wrong when it happens. Less than 30 days ago he was telling me how he would never turn his back on me, he would do whatever he had to do to earn a spot in my life and he would work harder than he ever worked to be a part of my life and earn my trust and respect back. I never heard from him again and when I did (the e-mail about T-day) it was the same old, same old.
The same BS with him just a different month. I can imagine your W feels much the same way.
My response: Sorry to hear your feelings were hurt on T-day.
I am tired of the same discussions and crap with him and all his empty promises and his fear. All I can do is remove myself from it. Maybe your W feels the same way.
Except that I don't make empty promises with W. I try to really see through anything I say to her. But I understand your point.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
