[censored] man of course this board is for ranting as well.
I didn't get the feeling that you weren't going to tone those responses down based upon what you wrote and how you responded to others and of course how I read it hence my concern.
I'll admit that I do not know you very well, I started to read you recently, but do not think I am belittling you, and do no think I do not want you to succeed.
Piercing is harder than anything else you have done in this process. Your mistakes can end it, I am trying to point out the pitfalls either I ran into or manage to avoid that I think apply to you.
That's it man.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I know, as I said, I'm not the best vocalized person around. No problem.
Believe me, there are 2 other lives involved in this, and I certainly have learned to put the image of their small (well, not so small any more )faces in my mind before I would EVER speak out loud what I think.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Ahhh, date night again last night with XW (god I hate calling her that). I was running early, and her uncle late to cover the kids (he still lives with them in FIL's house), so XW invited me in, actually S12 came barreling out of the house as soon as pulled up. XW says he MUST have dog ears becasue he was eating pizza one moment, and out the door the next. She invited me in, we had a drink and some pizza with the boys, was nice as a 'family' dinner with them will be scarce this weekend with x-mas next week.
I must say the boys were quite riled up and un-ruley. All I could do was politely remind them that they know under my watch they would not get away with their conduct/table manors, but it's "mom's" house to deal with it. At one point, S11 was hucking chunks of sausage across the table trying to "score a 3 pointer" in XW's shirt (not hard to do, she is well off).
Anyway, we hung out there for a bit, then her uncle (ex-FIL's brother) came in and dang near had a heart-attack it looked like when he saw me sitting there. LOL, can't wait til that gets back to her bear of a father. We spoke about him later in the evening, she still says she will deal with him on her own, I said, I'm a big boy and can too, apparently she thought my previous reference to his threat on my life was a joke, but after last night's talk, she'll have some catching up to do with him on what transpired. I simply told her, it's unfortunate, but that's how he chose things to be, so we're right back where we started from 12 years ago, which is fine with me.
Anyway, we finally got out of there, got in the truck at none other than 10:17, neither of us could say anything, just gleamed at eachother, shared a kiss and carried on.
We discussed 2 of the 3 issues at hand yesterday. XW says she completely understands why I feel the way I do and is counting the days down to not have to rely on a ride and say good-bye once and for all. I did say in modified form that I can't honestly believe for one second that OM could just simply let a woman like you go, just like that, and that is really complicating things. She did say there are times he will call her up (usually drunk) with the "i miss you" junk, but she did say they had been 'seperated' for a few months now (i think around the time of our anniversary, 10/17), and he does "respect" her desire to be with me.
On the issues of the check being cashed by OM mother, she professes as I figured she had no I.D., and no access to her bank and really needed money and apologized but there was no other option. She apparently is not on regular speaking terms with her father these days and her brother lost his account, so I'll have to let that slide.
On the promisqueity issue, I kept that to myself, kind of the approach of an A, "do you really want to know this information?", I opted no, and if it is still an issue later on to deal with it then.
We had an awesome time and just couldn't keep our eyes (and hands ) off each other. We did agree again, that although unfortunate the D happened, it is a blessing in disguise and laid to rest many issues that slowly degraded our relationship and that now the slate is clean of that and to deal with the post D mess together. We both know the road ahead will have it's obsticals, but we can overcome them and our new R has the high potential to be far better than the previous. It's going to be a great journey.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
)faces in my mind before I would EVER speak out loud what I think.
XW says he MUST have dog ears becasue he was eating pizza one moment, and out the door the next. She invited me in, we had a drink and some pizza with the boys, was nice as a 'family' dinner with them will be scarce this weekend with x-mas next week.