The last few days I have been feeling invisible, disposable and in the overall scheme of things, I don't count for much.
H bitched at me a week ago when I told a friend/neighbor that I have moved out because there "was no need to broadcast" our situation. I didn't think I was broadcasting- I thought I was letting a friend know where I was at now. It hit home that I'm isolated when I was at the house on Sunday and saw that H and the kids had received about 15 Christmas cards, and I hadn't gotten any. That hurt- especially when I saw one from my aunt. (She did send me one too- it arrived Monday, the next day).
I had a rough night last night- I was tired after work and accidentally drove to the house instead of my apartment. I was unable to reach the kids by phone, and I have no idea when to expect to see them because they won't commit- their schedules are moment to moment. I have a christmas tree to put up but no motivation to do so if I have no one to share it with. I was telling my friend here about last night and feeling low, and while doing so, I heard someone else mutter under their breath "give me a f***g break!". So I'll shut up, everyone has issues/problems, and I'm just separated, it's not a big deal.
