K4D Rising #4

[K4D]

Logic would say that if something is frustrating you on a monthly basis (RE: having to communicate about bills) then separating finances would be best. Why keep a continued source of frustration in your life when there is a simple fix?

W: I have decided to maintain my own finances starting Jan 1, 2010. Attached please find a spreadsheet of the necessary information you and I both need to split the finances/bills for individual payment as well as estimated projections of child related expenses. I have removed your name from the family cell plan and auto insurance as of (insert date here).

Think about what you are projecting... on one hand you say the bills are a source of monthly frustration yet on the other hand you say you don't mind being frustrated because to you, it keeps you attached to your W in some way.

I get this. I guess it is some bit of fear in me that it just further leads to a point I don't want it to or it further assists in getting there if I move forward with splitting everything.

Say you and your W were happily married. If your W was at the market and your daughter needed help filling out a form would you wait for your W to get home to do it or would you just take care of it? I would hope you would just get it done. Why would things be any different now?

I agree. I should have just handled it. Stupid reaction on my part.

If you want things to change you must be the "agent of change" and IMO you still let your W take the lead far too often.

Ya, I guess I do. I have to stop that.

What's the point of a conversational message board if you respond with *shrug*?

Was just not something I look forward to doing. Was shrugging at the thought of it.

At least be honest with yourself. You don't want to split the bills because it is one of the last things you and your W share and you are fearful to move forward.

This is true. I can't deny it.

Kevin