Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[TrentC]

I know I deserve so much better. I think that maybe our past problems, and how I dealt with them, kind of made me a doormat. It's almost like I feel like I DESERVE this treatment.

There is no reason to think of it like that, but it's not unreasonable to look at your relationship and figure out what's not working for YOU and look to change it.

Like, I am disguisted by what she is doing, but I still feel so much love for her-and that makes me feel guilty, or stupid because if someone did this to one of my kids, I would feel completely different.

Of course you would. It's the same reason we can give you advice about your situations and still struggle with our own; we have perspective that you don't.

She has done SO much to hurt me. I mean, how can I ever forgive that?

The Bible says that we should extend forgiveness to others that may have done nothing to deserve it, because we have been forgiven by God even though we have done nothing to deserve forgiveness ourselves. We are all imperfect to different degrees.

The sad thing is, if she called me right now, I would set boundaries, and take her back. And that makes me feel kind of sad, because I DO deserve better.

But you're missing the point -- setting boundaries is HOW you get better behavior. You say "I feel disrespected when you do XXXX", and she has a choice; be respectful and stop doing XXXX, or not. And if not, well, you have your answer.