Yeah, she's heard it -- it's "in there" -- she just hasn't processed it clearly yet, and probably won't for quite awhile.
Next time she corners you, don't let her badger you into a conversation. A calm "I'm not prepared to talk about this now" is better than telling her to "calm down" -- that only escalates things. When she gets specific (like "obviously we can't get past this,") either do the vague validation thing ("I'm really sorry you feel that way") or do the Gucci/Robx jui jitsu thing ("You're right, we can't.") But don't bait her with statements like "What have YOU done . . . ") etc.
Good decision on going with her today. So long as you make no concessions, it can only benefit you to see what her gameplan is; I'm shocked she's letting you come, now that you've said you'll be retaining your own attorney.
