My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

Thanks, BND. I've long heard that phrase about teaching others how to treat us too, and even knew I was doing it while in the midst of it. I think the hard part is unlearning patterns and finding new alternatives to knee-jerk emotional reactions. At least it is for me.

There are such huge life lessons to be learned from going thru a divorce; unfortunately I had to learn them twice because I missed something the first time around. But it would be such a shame to waste all this pain and not come out wiser and better for it. Yes, I also wish we could have worked it out for the sake of my D13, but at this point I'm not sure I could ever have salvaged a real relationship from the levels of narcissism on his part and self-doubt on mine. We got involved too soon after my first divorce, when I was far too vulnerable to be in a position to expect much of anything. I did a lot of work, but I'm not sure I gave it time to mature in me.