You spend so much time thinking about what you should or should not do when you have an exchange with your W. You do understand you cannot control what sort of person she is, how she parents or any other aspect of her, right?
IMO smothering can have multiple definitions and you do smother her. Wasn't it just a few days ago that you sent her multiple texts (RE: bill payment) and when she didn't respond you called her?
I get that bills needed to be paid but clearly the system you currently have with your W to pay the bills is requiring too much contact. So, figure out a new situation or separate your finances 100% so you won't have to chase after her to pay bills.
All this speculating about why her phone said her IM came from her phone and it showed up as "mobile". Who cares? Why waste your time wondering when there is no way to know? Why worry so much about who is sitting where at an event for your child? If you have a seat and you are there to support your kid that is all you need to concern yourself with.
