Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[givingitmyall]

Are you still working on your M?

I am working on ME. And have been since the bomb. The best way for me to answer that is to tell you I am open to working on the M, but realize that it takes 2. Unless and until my W decides to work on the M, I can be the world's best DB'r, and it won't make any difference FOR THE M. Being a good DB'r makes ALL the difference for ME and MY happiness.

So, in the end, working on ME is working on the M. Whether SHE chooses to maintain a R with me is out of my hands. But, as I work on me, I realize I will be fine no matter what happens. This takes time to get here, but you will get there if you want to bad enough. What's your alternative?

I want to understand what she is doing, I want to know why she is doing it.

Understandable, but a waste of your energy. Let go of the WHY. If you knew the WHY, would it make any difference? Honestly? It wouldn't change the WHAT (what she is doing).

I DO deserve better, so then why do I still feel the way I feel about her? Why would I want someone back-that has done all of this to me?

Because you love her and made a committment to her and your family.

Can I really just accept that it was a "fog"?

That's part of your journey and only something you can answer. But, what choice do you have?

Is it possible for her to come back? I know that can't be answered, but is my W's behavior the same as others on here?

Not to be flippant, but your sitch is unique, just like everybody else here. Anything is possible. But, you have to focus on the things you can control. And she is not one of those things.

Become the person only a fool would leave. The rest is up to her. In the end, no matter what, you are better off.

What, if anything, is going to wake her from the "fog"?

Don't know. It may the reality of the consequences from her actions. She may never wake up. Or she may wake up too late. Focus on YOU and what you can control. Then have faith in yourself (God, if you so choose). You are stronger than this current problem. You will prevail and come out of the other side of this a much better person, a much better father, and a he11 of a catch for someone who is deserving of you.