Originally Posted By: rob668
will try to stay out late...maybe brothers house or a movie. not into clubs or bars. I will find something. Right now i so much want to talk about the R!! but i know thats wrong, don't pursue. In bed i so much want to caress and try fo ML, just to see. But I know thats the wrong thing to do. Must clear my head and regroup. Folks here please help. thanks


Rob, you're doing good. Listen to the vets here on the board like Sandi2, PDT, Coach, TrentC and many others. These guys know what they are talking about. Sandi2 will give you the sitch from the woman's side of things. She knows, she's been there and I never tire of reading her advice.

The way I think of my sitch is as a game. She is playing a game in her head with you. Everything she does is moving a piece in that game. Everything she does is designed to throw you off the game and let her win.

My way of dealing with this was to actually stop playing her game at all. I took all my pieces and walked away. Best thing I ever did. Now when she plays the game at me, I just smile as I know the rules and I can't lose. If you don't play, you can't lose.

You need to try and work on yourself and forget about the M just now. Everything you want to do is counter to what you want to achieve. You need 180's and GALing. That is counter-intuitive but it works in so many ways that it's the only thing that should be an option. While you are doing those things you will also be working on your self, your self-confidence, your self-esteem and most of all your mental state.

Keep posting here. Vent, Scream. Shout. Don't do ANYTHING with the W though until you've come here.

One last bit of advice. Never EVER make a decision when your spun out. Take a lot of self control but try not to do it. It will set you back 10 steps.


Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y
Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010

"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient."
"Delay is the antidote for anger"