My UFO (unbelievably fabulous observations)

[hoosiermama]

I can identify with you, H'mama! I am still waiting for ... 'I don't know'. You are on your way to healing, and that brings good days, and bad.

Take care.

Thanks, BeingMe. I think if you figure out what you're waiting for, you can begin seeking it elsewhere--somewhere safe and healthy, of course. Once I was able to put words to this--"he just isn't capable of much compassion, of much support," it freed me to help myself rather than sit around full of despair. And it ended up being a dealbreaker in a way--becoming less emotionally dependent upon exH took the attention off him, and it had to be "all about him." Depending upon the issue, it may not be a dealbreaker for you, and you can hopefully just move on from expecting something from him that he can't give, and focus upon what he can.

As for good days and bad ones--yeah, it's true that there are more good days as time goes on, the bad ones don't linger, and while they may be just as deeply bad (as Thanksgiving was for me), you begin to recognize that feeling isn't permanent, but is inviting you to wisdom.