I don't know what I want right now-I just know that I hurt because of her destructive behavior. How could I ever take her back after what she has done/is doing? What would that make me?
You don't have to decide this today. In fact, I think it would be better for you NOT to make that decision right now b/c you are, understandably, emotional. It's ok (and VERY normal) to have emotions, but you don't want to ACT on the emotions.
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I will be calm, cool, and collected, just like every time I have been around her.
I know you will. I'm just doing my L bit like I would for any of my clients.
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My emotions are all over the place. I just can't believe this is really happening. I see her, and I just think "why doesn't she run to me, and love me, and tell me she's sorry?" Why doesn't she do that?
Why doesn't my wife want to be with me?
It's the fog. Normal to ask WHY, but (a) she may never tell you and (b) SHE may not know. Most importantly, it doesn't matter in the end. It's something that will consume your energy if you let it with no payoff in the end.
And the surreal aspect, that's pretty normal as well. I still have this at times. It's ok. And the pain, well, I wish I had the magic answer for you. It just takes time.
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Also, how do I just let my wife go from guy to guy, looking to find my "replacement"?
How do I just let go? I'm struggling with this.
YOU can't control HER, what she thinks or does. Let that part go, as hard as it must seem right now.
What helped me was to realize I DESERVED better. And so do you. If you can realize THAT truth, your question will switch from why won't she love me to why would I want her.
Another way to look at it is (if you are religious) to realize it is not God's plan for me to be alone the rest of my life. So, either my W is going to wise up and want to work on the M or there is someone out there who needs me more than my W. Either way, I end up in a better relationship - either my W and I make our M what it should have been or I "Do the work" on me and end up in a better R than I ever thought possible. No downside, man.
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I am very emotional today, and am just struggling with all of this damaging info, I have come across the last 2 days.
And this is why you should not make any major decisions right now. 48 hour Rule - If it's a good decision, it still will be in 48 hourse. Let the emotions subside a bit and think it through.
