John - Unfortunately he's been like this since I met him at 22! I realise its for life, but it is hard at times. Its not obvious when you meet him though, he's this sociable, chatty, funny sweet guy (right K!?)
It is good he talks to me now about it though and that he KNOWS now I am not the problem. The BMF isnt dragging him down, he genuinely wants to help after having walked in his shoes!
Girls, he said he wants children with me and wants us to start trying. His depression concerns me though. I tried to talk to him to about this last night, but he said he was "too tired" to talk. Besides, he is still not really interested in ML! He said he is very sorry about this and felt "inadequate as a man". He said its because of the way he is (depressed and negative) so doesnt feel s*xy, but to bare with him (?!).
Also, after 'going mad' and leaving me, he feels he is a bad person and hates himself for what he put me through and this weighs on him every single day. So its guilt still, the dreaded guilt factor. He also said its because he worries alot about everything, like work and money. Sheesh, I should make him go live with K's husband, they can be blocked up and celibate together!!
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
