We were apart for 18 months, during which time he never even held my hand, kissed my cheek, mentioned reconciling or invited me to where he lived. After 12 years - best friends for 3 then bf/gf living together for 9.. he walked out and wouldnt even let me know where he lived for the first 5 months!! He did contact me regularly though, a one line text, then one line emails, then 2, 3 and then longer, visits on his terms to MY house, bike rides, cinema occassionally, then 5 months after he left he gave me the address and his phone number...
He still didnt invite me to his place or allow me to go there, but we got closer until we were seeing each other 2/3 times a week by nearly a year after the bomb and then BAM...he went NC again because he started dating a woman at work (who he had been friends with pre-bomb). He dated her for 8 months but during that time the short emails started again, the odd phonecall, but then he moved house and again didnt tell me where he was living (despite buying me a Christmas present, increasing contact by email and insisting he didnt want to sell any of our properties including our 'marital' home!)
I never gave up hope, because my intuition knew his behaviour was due to his depression and that he had had a breakdown and he was NOT himself. As soon as he emerged from the worst of that (he is still not fully recovered and may never be).. he started to return to his old self and realise what he had done/lost and make decisions for himself.
We are now back together and I can honestly say, happier than ever.
He has answered many of my questions about his thinking during the separation and why he behaved the way he did (not letting me go to his flat, phoning alot then going NC, deciding to date an unsuitable ow etc etc).. all on my current piecing thread if you are curious into the mind of a MLC/WAS !
Good luck, Al x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
