Yes, you will be tied together forever because of your children, not just 10 years. How you choose to spend those years is what will make the difference in your life. Stop dwelling on her, focus on you ONLY.
Growing up playing sports, you become very goal oriented. I can't help it. I can't focus unless there's a goal, something to accomplish. True, she may not notice, but by the time I figure that out, I would think somebody else would have and I'll be well along the path to full recovery.
A co-worker told me once he still thinks of his first wife at least once a week even though he's been happily married to his second wife for 15 years. The second marriage is better in every way than the first, but he says it never totally goes away.
My W is in most of my memories of my late 20s and all of my 30s. I can't write her out of my biography.
That being said, when D7 turns 18 and heads off to college, I would hope that the only interaction between W and I would be an occasional email over college costs.
The girls, by then, will be free to make their own decisions on who they want to spend time with.
I got into journalism to see the world then married someone who has never lived more than 15 minutes from their mom. So I had to give up the dream. I even turned down a dream job in Florida six years ago because W didn't want to go. As I type this, it is 5 frickin degrees outside in the lousy Midwest.
When both girls are off to college, who knows, perhaps I'll finally have the freedom to go off and see the world like I've always wanted to. Perhaps I'll have someone else by then who would have something to say about it. If not, I can find work anywhere.
Me: 47, Ds 17-13, D final 6-11 http://tinyurl.com/yk4e2tz http://tiny.cc/thread2 http://tinyurl.com/ydtphqu http://tinyurl.com/thread4 http://tinyurl.com/3sm78k6 http://tinyurl.com/thread6
