I'm trying to get up the guts G - I suck right now.
No sweetie, you don't suck. You're just in an emotional state. Wait until you can calm down. Get your legal advice. Find out exactly what you're looking at. Get your ducks in a row. Then when you are in a reassured you can deal from within a position of strength.
EDIT: One more thing I'd like to add: YOU ARE A LOT STRONGER THAN YOU THINK. You're just letting your mind mess you around.
