The adventure chronicles

[P17]

Ok, she called again, told me that if I didn't take the woman of FB she was going to file this time and that she wasn't playing. She also said she was going to stop paying child support until the court ordered her to do so?

I was kind of wavering about whether you should just take this woman off or not but you can't do it now. No way. She is playing a game. If you let her win, you've had it.

At that point I got pissed. I said, ok that's fine, don't pay, you can answer for that one later on too. She said she felt like she was paying too much. Ok, got it. We'll see what the court has to say.

Good, take it out of her hands.

She then went on to say that she felt like there wasn't a need right now for her to pay child support. I asked how she figured that one out? [/quote]

Bad. Don't get into a discussion about this. CS is a legal AND moral obligation. Why debate it with her. Somebody who tells you she is not paying for her kids because you have a friend on FB is not quite with the rest of us here on planet normal. No point arguing with her. She won't listen, you'll get frustrated and ... well you know the rest.

So she asked, where's it going? I said, well, let's see the money goes to pay for her food, clothing and shelter.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. She left. What are you explaining how you bring your kids up at home? When she left, she left that responsibility too. She pays maintenance, you take care of the kids the best you can and spend that money wisely. End of story.

She said, well, we'll have to see what my lawyer has to say about that. And, btw, she's expensive and always wins. Ok, got it I said. (a veiled threat perhaps?)

Veiled, but not thinly. We have a saying over here in Scotland which is the same ... it's called the 'Man dad's bigger than your dad' argument and usually comes out in a kids fight when somebody loses. Her lawyer is bigger than your lawyer. Cool. She's scared.

And if she's expensive then good luck to your W. I think her money could be better spent on ... let's say child support?

So, I said, is that it?

You should have said "good luck with your lawyer, I've got to go and get on with my busy happy life" and hung up.

She said no, if you take the OW of FB then I won't file but we need to move forward in some sort of fashion.

See above. Is she so childish?

So, I asked her, any other demands? Nope, she said, that's it. I said, so what happens when I take her off? Things will magically get better? Why haven't you signed up for counseling? She said, for us or for me? I said, for you. She replied, that she didn't need counseling, that she's fine now and she knows what the right thing is to do. I asked her why she feels so strongly about this even though there's no way I could have a relationship with this OW based on geographical seperation and the fact that we don't even talk that much. She said she was jealous.

I asked her of what? I'm not dating her and there's no relationship. She said, I just am. I said, so let me get this straight, you are wanting to date other people because you feel alone, you've had sex outside the marriage, had an EA and you're upset because you presume that because you've done these things that I have done them also? I said, well that just isn't the case, that hasn't happened. She said, not that I know of. Ok, I said, goodbye, I'm done talking for now.

So, I'll ask and please be kind, Should I entertain this at all?
[/quote]

No effing way.

She has a chip on her shoulder and she will not back down about it. She needs to control the situation. She needs to control you. This OW on FB is WAAAY more than just a woman you have chatted to. You take this woman off FB and you're history - she owns you. And that's not attractive. You keep her on, you'll get more and more of this and you show her YOU own YOU. That is attractive.

I mean, I've told her that I would take her out on dates and asked that she gets counseling but she's refused--it's damn frustrating that she feels like this is her roadblock to start mending our relationship--I honestly don't understand.

It's not about that. It's about control.

Second, should I just go talk to my lawyer and file before she does? I feel threatened a little bit with her lawyer talk and the fact that she's not going to pay child support now?

I'm not in the US, but I did read somebody filing for financial support. Can you not do this?

Only file for D if YOU want to. Don't let her force you with her smoke and mirrors act.