The continuing saga of P ...

[P17]

I hope your IM says bullocks to that. IM does not snoop. IM is IM.

Haven't asked her yet Maybe I won't ...

From what I have seen from other forums (marriagebuilders and survivinginfidelity) it is totally normal for WS to get to a point where they stop trying to communicate with NC. Most of the time it is temporary.

I was going to say I hope so but I'm not so sure. I'm actually more curious as to why she isn't following the script and pulling closer.

Think about it--she is ticked off about your NC. Totally not expecting that of you. She is immersing herself with OM. Totally to be expected, NC or not, but NC makes it easier. This is where they get their emotional needs completely met but OP but after awhile, they realize that OP can't give them what they had with you.

That's the bit I have trouble with. That's more of a 'keep the faith' thing. Who knows maybe she will get all her EN's met by OP. From what I know I can't see it, but I don't know him too well. I just know stories, rumours and hearsay and we all know how reliable that stuff is.

As I said before I believe W is so desperate she will actually cling onto this guy for dear life so I may be a long time waiting.

Also, although it FEELS like it has been forever, you have been NC what..4 weeks? Maybe 5? So in the big picture, this is a pretty short time.

No, you get me wrong there newmama. I know it's been like a grain of sand in the time it is likely to take. I was just curious as to why she is going so dark on me and whether it was normal.

I bet you 1000000 pounds that she will contact you again! Seriously!

Right guys, you all heard that. That's SIX zeroes there. Newmama will owe me a million pounds. Of course she will need to contact me about SOMETHING, so you kind of will always win

And as for people telling you to move on and that she has...been there done that. These same friends have told me recently that they now think there is hope and that they just want me to be happy no matter what. Think about what DR says- our friends and family just want us to stop hurting.

That's what I keep telling others! Sometimes it's easier to give advice than take it. There is one person in particular who keeps doing this and it is really p*ssing me off to be honest. No matter what I say, they keep slipping in the 'moving on' part somewhere. I know they do it because they care but I will move on at my own pace and in my own damn time.

So continue with NC which you are doing "famously well" and EXPECT this kind of reaction from her.

To be honest, I actually expected this reaction way before now. It did surprise me that she contacted me 4 times in the first 3 weeks. As you say, and as I think, she is ticked off just now for a few reasons (not getting her xmas stuff, my mum passing and probably not telling her, my mum passing and her not knowing what to do, NC, contact cut from step-D etc.) so she could just be cutting off contact because of that.

P17, I think that as long as there is currently an OM involved, going dark, is for you and your well-being and peace.

Thanks bluerain for adding to my thread. I've been watching yours and admiring how far you've come down the road and how strong you are!

NC has been the best thing I have done so far for me. Really has been.

Re-up your dbing efforts, she doesnt get to be better at it than you! lol

I know!

What DB efforts can I do while under NC though - GAL is about it!