Do you really want to know a big reason why I let H touch me on Sunday? I know people were wondering why I allowed that from him. Because I can be so dumb. Right now I don't trust my decision making process- I'm feeling needy and looking for positive attention, and this is why I think everybody is a bit off with the classy and strong bit.
I went out Friday night just to get out for a bit. I went to a place that I've been to before and was comfortable there, and I was just enjoying talking to some people. I was talking to this one guy, and he was saying all the nice things that I really liked to hear, and I wound up alone with him a little later. Stupid mistake. It's not like I was drunk or anything, I just allowed myself to be sucked in, I should have known better. This guy turned out to be a real jerk when I was alone with him. Not real respectful of boundaries or the words "I don't want to". There were people nearby and I didn't want to cause a scene by others charging in, I just wanted to hurry and get out of there.
So I think that may be why I let H touch me a little on Sunday- nice touches replacing the bad ones.
So, as I said, I'm not all that classy, strong or loaded with common sense at the moment. I need to just hang out by myself for a while while I get some of those traits. Thank you for listening and letting me unload that.
