Gotta Keep Trying 2

[Dia]

Hi, GIMA,

I'm glad you're feeling strong. You ARE strong. I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this, but you're doing so in a way that's earned respect and admiration from all of us.

Hang in there!

Dia

[givingitmyall]

Hey Dia! I was hoping you would drop by. When you have a second, I would love to have your take on my W's flip-flop on MC. I see no other alternative but D right now.

[Dia]

let me make sure I didn't miss anything....

So she said she'd go to MC, but not to discuss reconciliation, right? So you cancelled the appt?

I think you did the right thing. There's a trite-but-true counseling joke that goes about like this...

"How many MC's does it take to change a lightbulb? - Just one, but the lightbulb has to really WANT to change."

From what I read, she doesn't want to change, and as long as that's the case, MC is just expensive, time-consuming futility.

[givingitmyall]

Thanks Dia. Yes, she said she'd go to MC and reconciliation was something she would consider then said she was only going to MC for co-parenting. She also said she never said she would go for reconciliation. Simply untrue.

[mishka422]

Oh heavens....I just realized that what I said at the end of my post sounded like I was saying that GIMA was going to let her drag it out. Not what I meant at all! That is what I'm thinking she thinks is going to happen by her telling you about not getting the job.

[Dia]

Thanks Dia. Yes, she said she'd go to MC and reconciliation was something she would consider then said she was only going to MC for co-parenting. She also said she never said she would go for reconciliation. Simply untrue.

Conflicted people will act... conflicted. I still think you did the right thing.

[givingitmyall]

Mishka,

I knew what you meant, and I did not think you were critizing me. No sweat.

[Energizer Bunny]

Conflicted people will act... conflicted.

That sums up "Limbo" pretty well now doesn't it?

[givingitmyall]

Conflicted people will act... conflicted.

That sums up "Limbo" pretty well now doesn't it?

I think it sums up that I have allowed her internal conflict to give me hope and, thus,remain stuck in limboland. But for the Holidays, I would be moving forward right now with D. I just can't do that to the kids. It's only a couple of weeks. He!!, I made it almost 8 months now, what's another 2 weeks going to matter?

[givingitmyall]

Well, W's birthday is today. And this is hard for me to act as if we are already D'd and let EVRYTHING (presents, cake and happy birthdays) be from the kids and not me. I know this is what I have to do and that it is tough love. It just feels strange. I have NEVER forgotten a birthday, anniversary or other special occasion.

So, this morning, I had the kids wish her a happy birthday. I did not. Yesterday evening, I took the kids and let them pick out a present for W. This will be from the kids, not me. The kids want to take W out to dinner tonight. If the kids knew we are heading for D, I would not go, but they don't, so I will go. Not to be there would be VERY unusual to the kids.

I know this is the right thing to do. And the fact that it is hard tells me that.