here we go again

[Jstar]

my niece is going to come over tonight and help me figure out what to respond to. i keep going over it my head.

we both have committed domestic violence on each other. it started with him doing crap to me and i would not takeit anymore and started to defend myself. not that it's an excuse.

i have to wait till i'm on break from work to get this all done, i have missed so much work with teh baby and situation. seeing a lawyer, order of protection, all that kind of stuff. i walk a very thin line finanically and gotta keep it together as long as i can.

getting him served has always been a problem. he darts around all the other lawsuits he is being litigated against and his family protects him big time. i have some tricks up my sleeve how to tget him served, just takes a little planning.

once he called the police on me for breaking my own window in my house to try to get me to calm down, spent i night in jail, charges were dropped, you can't vandalize your own property.

i think about this crap and i'm like, uh i want to be with him, why, for my children, do i really love him, not enough, can he change. so much stuff and i can sense my stress level coming up. exactly what i've been trying to avoid.