Ya, I'm sure one of 2 things is going on. Either 1) She and they are all still planning on getting together after the performance so she is put off by the fact that now she won't have the girls to bring or 2) She made plans for Thursday night and is now annoyed that she will have to cancel them to spend time with her girls because the birthday plans fell through on my night. I am not sure which, but I think one of those 2 is probably the case.
I would not doubt that I am going to get the same line I always get from her anytime the schedule gets tweaked. I always get "I had plans" every single time. My inside wants to say I don't care about your plans. I could honestly care less. You never care about mine. And you ALWAYS have plans. There is NEVER a moment when you don't have plans. It never fails that I always get that line from her.
But I never say that to her, I just keep quiet and try and work things out with her. I fume sometimes under my breath, but I hold back as I have learned that lesson very well. I try to show understanding to her feelings for her. But I am also trying to set some boundaries and I think this is one of them. I think if I just let her have her way all the time, that is not necessarily the best thing for me or the girls.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Here is what I would do in the future. If the switching has nothing to do with the girls and its purely for W then don't do it. If she has plans Thursday say "great W! Go ahead with your plans, I will take the girls that night too." Let her give up a few nights without losing yours.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
If she has plans Thursday say "great W! Go ahead with your plans, I will take the girls that night too." Let her give up a few nights without losing yours.
That is a good idea SO2. I will suggest that tonight if it gets brought up.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
If she has plans Thursday say "great W! Go ahead with your plans, I will take the girls that night too." Let her give up a few nights without losing yours.
That is a good idea SO2. I will suggest that tonight if it gets brought up.
Kevin
Good! Don't say it with an attitude either. Say it like a freaking Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. Like its the best thing in the world and hopes she has a fun time. I would always jump at the chance to have your girls more.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I will, and believe me, I do always jump at the chance to have my girls more. I love having them.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Ok, this is apparently beyond me unless you are telling me to move on like they do and populate with someone else like animals do which is not really what I signed up for.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Ok, this is apparently beyond me unless you are telling me to move on like they do and populate with someone else like animals do which is not really what I signed up for.
Kevin
No, that isn't what he is talking about. He's talking about the predator/prey relationship and the interation of two codependent populations. For example, the rabbit death rate is affected by the foxes population. The foxes birth rate is affected by the amount of rabbits available. Basically, more foxes equal less rabbits, etc. Get it?
I'm not sure SQ is trying to give you a biology lesson. I think he might be trying to get you to see the behavior pattern, and apply it to yourself.
Does this help you see what he is wanting you to see?
Sorry, SQ. He wasn't getting you, and it didn't seem like he was going to. Why make it worse for him?
Ok, this is apparently beyond me unless you are telling me to move on like they do and populate with someone else like animals do which is not really what I signed up for.
Kevin
not at all. but it is related to what you did sign up for.
african violets, rabbits and foxes. anybody?
this thread does and will continue to receive alot of activity; if we are going to continue to think and write, we might as discuss what works. get back to the basics.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
