Ok - I can have the settlement ready to present him tomorrow - Sent him this text back "I would like to accomplish that as well. I am willing to meet you at home tomorrow at 7:00." Got text back from him right away "Then its set."
LET
YOUR
ATTORNEY
HANDLE
THIS!!!
You are WAY too emotional right now, and I'd be advocating the above even if you weren't. It's OK to meet, to LISTEN for him to tip his hand, but "offer nothing; expect nothing" should be your motto.
Wrap it all up by saying "That's very interesting; thank you for coming over here to share all that with me. I'll go over this with my attorney, and they'll be in touch with you guys soon."
Actually, that $10,000 will likely be joint debt, as well as any other of his expenses, including those for outings with his GF.
If you are sure about what you want in your settlement agreement, and he is willing to agree to it, then I guess it won't hurt much, though it probably won't help either.
Otherwise, I'd suggest you let your L's talk. There really is not much point to trying to work it out with him. The terms will keep shifting until the legal documents are drawn up and signed. Three things:
-- The longer you string it out, the less generous H will be.
-- You can always change your mind about what is acceptable. Trust me, H will flip flop plenty.
-- Don't sign anything on the sale of the property without talking to your L unless the funds are going into an account to divide in the settlement agreement or unless the profits or losses are marginal. (Marginal I guess would be plus or minus a few thousand dollars. In this economy, I'd err on getting the sale put through rather than haggling about an amount of money that will be inconsequential in a year or two.)
If you hope to sell the condo, sign that paperwork now and treat that separate from the rest of this. If you hang other people up on your divorce, you will lose the sale.
You are doing WAY too much talking with him at this point. Way too much explaining, way too much justifying. The is beyond "talk to the hand", this is talk to my attorney.
The only conversations you should be taking part in, maybe, are listening to his apologies and/or begging for you to take him back.
Quote:
I'm just a money-grubbing bitch and he knew this is what is going to come down to, I was just waiting to take advantage of the situation and get him for anything I could. If I do it again, my stuff will be out by the street, he's kicking me out of the master bedroom, he wants rent money back from me, he's getting a lawyer for himself and on and on.
...fine, here is my lawyer's name and number. Have your attorney talk to my attorney, have a nice day, bye...
Quote:
I told him that I was trying to get this done in the most quickest and least costly manner possible. But if he wanted to keep it up, we'll go down the other road and he'll see just how bad it will get. He wants to play dangerous games, we'll play. In the eyes of the law he has squandered almost $10,000 in the past few months, etc.
STOP! You owe him no explanation. Stop educating him. Let your lawyer explain this to his lawyer. You are giving away your edge and making yourself look small. The less talking you do, the better at this point. Be DARK, let him stew.
Quote:
Touch another penny in that account and you'll see what happens." followed with I need you to go to the bank with me to close out the account. I just replied "Find out from the bank what needs to be done and let me know. Bye."
Just got a text from him - "I want to sit down calmly as two adults and figure out exactly what we both realistically are looking for as an outcome for all of this. I also left paperwork on the bar that needs to be signed. Want to sit down with you tmrw."
....again, whatever, have your attorney sit down with my attorney. DO NOT sit down with him, negotiate, sign or agree, even verbally, to anything.
pffft...touch another penny??!! Take it all and let his attorney file something compelling you to return it. Do not be bullied.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Everyone is right - I did WAY too much today. I'm just way too emotional right now as PDT pointed out. I gathered my composure finally around the time I was driving home. Get home and in my room, can tell H has been in here. See a couple of pieces of black hard plastic on the floor that look like something was broken. I'm looking around and can't figure out what it is from. Finally look at a little table I have and realize that my little lamp is missing. Had noticed when I got home that H had brought in the garbage can, which he never does. Go to garbage can in the garage and there inside is my little lamp smashed to pieces.
When H just got home I took the little leftover pieces and brought them to where he was and sat them down on the counter next to him and just said very casually "you forgot a few pieces". As I'm walking back to my room, H "your lamp fell and broke" <------ LOL! In my room with door closed and H knocks and just needs to know where the extra power pack for his laptop was. Which he has never ever needed or used before and has taken his laptop with him many, many times...again, funny. Then he left.
I see the lawyer in the morning. Hopefully he'll be good and I can hire him.
Last edited by aflowergurlie; 12/16/0912:02 AM.
Me-34 XH-33 No Kids We were M-12Y T-15Y 5/09 Same house-separate bedrooms 01/10 I filed for D / H moved out 09/16/10 Divorced
I'd like to remind you that you ARE an incredible woman. Get a good night's rest. I hope your L is a GREAT one.
Let him handle the legal side of things and NEVER forget that the L works FOR you and is there to execute your demands and wishes. You have control. Of him and the situation.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Actually, that $10,000 will likely be joint debt, as well as any other of his expenses, including those for outings with his GF.
I guess it depends on the state (and the judge), but that's very different from everything I've ever heard. "Squandering of marital assets" is usually not looked upon too kindly by a family court judge.
