O'dog's Act II

[orangedog]

ReligiousFriend invited me out for a drink after work. He is usually giving me a lift but this time he was weighted down. His biz has been mixed and today he told his biz partner to leave; the accts and lawyers will take care of the details. But that was only part of the story.

I thought his stress over the past few months was just related to the start-up but there was a lot of family stuff from his past that has come up. He's been sad, stressed, overwhelmed, snapping at his kids, and just feeling empty. He saw someone for the first time and described his visit in detail. There was a lot he was holding onto that he was finally able to touch and let go. It was a side of him I had not seen before.

There were a few things that really hit me during the conversation.

- He felt like his "cup was broken" and that his wife could not fill him no matter how much she tried. Unless he made himself whole again, she would wear herself down trying.

- He felt like his (family member) didn't value himself. He never discussed his feelings because he didn't feel worthy. RFriend was concerned he (and other men too) fell into this pattern and we continue to carry around emotions that eventually wear us down.

A few months ago, he was urging me to feel everything I had to feel. Dog worked on this. However RFriend was not yet able to do it himself.

- He has only begun to let go some of the issues that bothered him. The days seem very different to him now.

- We've both experienced profound feelings of gratitude. I mentioned this Thanksgiving was probably the first time I really "got" the holiday. Despite having less materially than I've ever had, I felt more thankful for everything in my life: loving kids, health, job, sense of self, but even small things like walking outside or seeing an animal. Without gratitude there is no happiness.

- Silence. To just sit and watch. To turn it all off for a while.

It was such a great time.