At the moment, I think we're exploring hers more than mine. I spent years and years thinking about my sexuality and developed a clearer picture, I think, than she did in years of trying not to think about it. But I'm still learning about myself because having her involved (not that she wasn't with me before, but she certainly wasn't exploring anything) changes my reactions and my understanding of myself. There are things I thought were peripheral to my sexuality that turn out to be much more compelling and exciting now that they're part of her sexuality, if that makes sense. I didn't realize she was capable of being this wholehearted about sex. It worries me that I'll mess it up somehow.
For now, I'm content to explore her sexuality and see how mine reflects it, given how long I've wished I could do just that. A year from now, who knows? There's no way to know what we'll have discovered together by then. It *is* exciting.
I just finished my column and promotion for the morning, so now the toddler and I are off to the big city to file my certification for my day job. When I get back, I'm going to work on sheathing the house and trimming around the windows on our bedroom--after which I can finally insulate, wire and drywall that room in earnest.
But here's the commitment I'm making here for everyone to see: Before the New Year, I will finish and test the plumbing--hot, cold and drain--for the bathtub in the new bathroom upstairs. She will be able to take long, hot baths. I was well on my way at one time, and the tub itself is installed and seems to be bedded perfectly, but as cold weather came on, those windows took precedence. Now it will get done. This gives me about two weeks, but we won't be home for all of that. (In a normal house, this should be doable in one good Saturday of focused work, but in my house I'm not making any predictions.)
