you talking to me or SP LOL! If you're referring to me, yeah I'm doing awesome LOL! What's up? LOL! Totally caught off guard antlers, how about you, YOU OK?
you talking to me or SP LOL! If you're referring to me, yeah I'm doing awesome LOL! What's up? LOL! Totally caught off guard antlers, how about you, YOU OK?
I'm talking to you robx. I know SP's doin' OK...he's been dead for a good while now (Speiers Doctrine). Awesome is pretty darn good.
Yeah man...I'm just livin' the dream. Goin' through a bad divorce. This isn't what I wanted but it's what I've been dealt. Gotta burn the pain as fuel for my journey!
I'm glad you're doin' good.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
She obviously wants to keep rockin' the boat, so I'm Darkly Darkly again.
It's the only way clear, I think. I explained yesterday to The Boy that I understand he and his sister want their Mom and me to be friends, but right now I'm just not comfortable around her or with that idea. His therapist, who is divorced/remarried, explained that it can take a long time for people to become friendly with each other after a divorce, and The Boy seemed to get that.
So I'm starting absolute minimum communication with WAW, because on my run this morning I realized I love her (but I'm not in love with her) but I also sort of hate her right now, and it would just be best if that didn't get to growing and keeping me warm.
So it will be darkly. To be sure, impeccable with my words -- no tone, no adjectives, no adverbs, no pronouns, no personal information beyond what is necessary (i.e., "Doctor's appointment; can't pick up on the 22nd," that sort of thing) -- but nothing that would pass for human(e) "conversation." It's just not worth the cost attendant to creating an opening.
Sounds like a good plan. Her "Angry-Nice-Repeat" cycle of behavior is toxic.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
So I'm starting absolute minimum communication with WAW, because on my run this morning I realized I love her (but I'm not in love with her) but I also sort of hate her right now, and it would just be best if that didn't get to growing and keeping me warm.
So it will be darkly. To be sure, impeccable with my words -- no tone, no adjectives, no adverbs, no pronouns, no personal information beyond what is necessary (i.e., "Doctor's appointment; can't pick up on the 22nd," that sort of thing) -- but nothing that would pass for human(e) "conversation." It's just not worth the cost attendant to creating an opening.
Yes-yes-yes.
There's a theory in some circles that righteous indignation can become your brain's drug-of-choice. I think there's something to that, and I think you are wise to move to curtail your supply.
And, what choc said.
Last edited by Kettricken; 12/15/0907:34 PM.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
I suppose that's true. You get a nice kind of feedback from that rage -- keeps you warm at night.
I hate that it's come to this. But it has. You play the cards you're dealt, not the ones you wish you had. Text from WAW today: I really can't take much more of this.
Dude, Marshall Goldsmith got into your notes! Here's the title of his next book due out in Feb '10:
Mojo: How to Get It, How to Keep It, How to Get It Back if You Lose It
Did you write the forward?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I suppose that's true. You get a nice kind of feedback from that rage -- keeps you warm at night.
I hate that it's come to this. But it has. You play the cards you're dealt, not the ones you wish you had. Text from WAW today: I really can't take much more of this.
Why can't she take much more of this? What the heck are you doing to impede her life any way shape or form? She got what she wanted, her own place, she shares the kids, having fun with OM and yet she still isn't happy - she has problems and it isn't you - you aren't pursuing her anymore.
I would have texted her back, regardless of going dark or not and really had some fun with it,
"You really can't take much more of this?! Isn't this what you wanted? What the hell do you want from me now? Stop texting me and leave me alone, can't you see that I don't want you anymore? Get a life, move on, I know I have, you're really being a pain in the a$$ now and you're not my problem to deal with anymore!"
and that's it, I'd say at this stage, give her a kick in the ass every now & then with her $hit behavior and then laugh it off when she gets all bat $hit crazy - you know it's all her now, not you. Seriously you don't live together, you don't have "relations" anymore and haven't for quite some time, you don't do activities together, all you do is share the kids and aside from a few legalities, that's it, she needs to get a life and stop messing around with your life. You're allowed to tell her to stop bothering you, I'd call that a definite respect boundary as much as anything else.
