He then apologized..." Sorry for being such a jerk the last few days. It is just this bipolarness I have in me."
What? You actually admitted to having the characteristics of someone with bipolar disorder? Crazy! I didn't know what to say! He actually admitted his wrong behavior! He has apologized before for being a jerk, but that was it. No mention that it may be a "problem" with him....just that he may have been acting like a jerk.
Has he actually been diagnosed as bipolar, or is he just describing his behavior in that fashion?
I'd file it away and think about making it a condition of working things out; that he get evaluated.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
This means nothing without a diagnosis at least. If he seriously considers his behavior a problem, he should seek professional help, no?
What you are describing could just as easily be moodiness and/or poor impulse control.
It was good of him to take the initiative to apologize.
But.
Are you willing to give him a continuing pass on taking his emotions/frustrations out on you? There's a difference between venting *to* someone and venting *at* them. Has this been a long-term pattern?
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
I will mention that I was at his sister's house yesterday, and we got on the topic of the situation. I mentioned to him that one minute he is super perfect and affectionate with me, and the next minute he doesn't want to even look at me. She agreed that she sees this behaviour in him too. She also said that she doesn't know much about H's intentions but if she ever gets the chance she will investigate. I asked her not to say anything and she said she wouldn't. She said she doesn't ever say anything to him when we talk. But I'm leaning towards the fact that maybe she called him last night. I just can't see him coming to this realization all on his own.
This is the sister he moved in with right? She knows a helluva lot more than she's telling you. And her claim that she doesn't say a word to H about your conversations... she's lying.
Be careful of her Britt. She is NOT your ally but a spy. Spies can be useful... do not alienate her. Keep her around to feed disinformation to in the future. Do not let her know that you are "ONTO" her.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
Ha, Ha! Yes this is the sister he moved in with. She is also one of my best friends. I know in the end her brother is her brother. His blood outweighs our friendship and in law blood. She is very "for" this marriage to work. So I think that when she thinks she can help she does, whether I want her to or not.
If she did mention this to him, he could have just apologized cause she opened his eyes, but it could be nothing more than just an apology. I am ready for that. I just want in my heart to be more.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14