Thought I'd add a copy of an answer that I posted to Mindfull in answer to ST's question:
Originally Posted By: S.T. _I Made It!
G, may I ask what your path is? the 1 sentence version.
Hmm.. one sentence may not cover it, but I will try.
You don't truly appreciate what you've got until you feel you've truly lost it. Then you scurry to get back what you thought you had.
This is the driving force behind all of us LBS's. We rush to get back into the marriages we thought we had. We GAL, 180 and figuratively go to the end of the earth to get our WAS back. Then, IF the WAS "wakes up" we are overjoyed. We generally welcome them back unconditionally, very few strings attached and without consequences for their behavior.
This is where the clash comes in. WE, the LBS's, have changed. We've been "purified" in the crucible of pain and suffering whereas the WAS has been "emancipated" during this same period of time. We've done the work and they have not had to do a thing. i.e. They've not undergone their own "purification" process. Generally they get off light and don't pay the consequences of their actions. No, I'm not saying this to be sadistic. We need to realize what we are taking back is still damaged. No lessons have been learned. No work has been done by the WAS. Their emotional investment is so minimal that they are virtually "free" to walk away again when things don't please them.
We are so thrilled with the idea that we have "won" and have our spouse back that very few LBS's make them work to return. Out of fear of losing them again, we don't present our own "laundry list" of demands. That list is important. It is an ACID TEST. The WAS demonstrates how much they value you. If they're not prepared to put in the effort it is a fair indicator of disaster further along down the road.
I hope the above provides some insight into the vacuous mind of Gno...
